if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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