I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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