better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
