You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
