how can u be prego again
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
