I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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