this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
