I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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