i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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