he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
