Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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