whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
