Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
