Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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