i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
