i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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