How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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