New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
