so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
