I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
