shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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