you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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