Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
