You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
