Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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