I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize