True but thats because hes a fetus.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
