Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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