fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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