i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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