You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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