His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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