it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
