So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
