you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
All the doctor said was why
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
