he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
