We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
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Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
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They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize