I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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