five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I got inside last night via doggy door
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
