So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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