All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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