I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
