She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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