He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
