Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
