I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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