I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
