you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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