I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize