you guys were way drunker than both of me
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Randomize
