Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
