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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
im six kinds of drunk right now
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize