Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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