K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
