Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
high people should be assigned attendants
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
