No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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