i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
