i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
