It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
