can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
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Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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