you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
