i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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